Nejc Lešek’s diary

Hey!

Today is Monday, November 26, 2007.

Right what happened today? I went to computer store for a computer for my little half brother, he’s 8 years old. My mom and dad are divorced for a long time and my dad doesn’t really know much about computer technology so I helped him. At least I tried, the freaking seller was soo smart…and I mean like stupid. I was like trying to tell him that we definitely need DirectX 10 graphic card because the age of DirectX 9 already passed and he was like, ou god no, you don’t need that. And more than I tried to convince him that we need that for Windows Vista, the more he was smart ass about how Vista works bad and needs mega super computer, I thought I’ll puke, man. Fucking idiot doesn’t realize that Xp will lose support in two years and than the creep is saying that we can use that computer for 5 years… fucking retard, he also didn’t realize that I might know a thing or two about computers, what he definitely didn’t realize is that I’m a professional software developer and I’m actually working in DirectX 10 and know very well that, that is the future on top of all that, New Age Software is Microsoft’s partner and we get news from them much faster that he… I feel a bit better now, he really pissed me of. What else happened, well Suzana’s sister wrote me, asking me about what is happening between us with Suzana and… I told her what you already know, we break-up. Anyway, take care for now, I might write more in the evening.

Nejc L.

Hi! 

Today is Sunday, November 25, 2007.

 Todays pop culture really sucks, just look at the emo culture. I personally like their hair style to some limit, but I just can’t take all the sad faces. Sure you can understand people when something bad happens, but try to understand someone who is sad most of the time with no freaking reason. A lot of very nice people cut them self with all sorts of stuff, I mean come on you can bleed to death and die, because of what? If someone knows what is their problem, that please explain that to me, I’m ready to change my opinion with a technical reason. That much about that, so where was I for a week? I was developing software and constructing new web portal, a lot of work, but I’m really excited about everything. Remember even if you see me with kinda emo hair style, that doesn’t mean I want to be emo, it means I got a new hair style. Anyway you all know I’m a punk rock guy, so that probably won’t happen. Till then =), take care.

Nejc L.

Hi!

Today is Wednesday, November 14, 2007.

What a stupid thing for me to ask, did you ever wondered what is the meaning of our lifes here on earth. Of course you did, everybody did. That is one of THE questions of all time. There are two aspects to look at this question, one is scientific other is moral. But the extraordinary thing is that both aspects came to the same result. Answer is simple. The meaning of life is love, yes love. Now, you probably asked yourself, why would I be saying such a thing and that this is totualy personal and individual subject. First of all, we go to school, WHY? Because our parents wants us to get smart and want you to be the best on the whole wide world. NO! But sadly that is one of the most common mistakes in our world today. People are starting to forget why we are doing these things. It’s not about making your parents proud. It’s about money in our world. What? Yes money and what does money has to do with meaning of life? For money we can buy food and all sorts of goods, to survive and make our life’s a bit easier, now that is the true purpose of money, to trade and by that to survive, but humanity became corrupted long ago and we forgot about these things. The important thing is that we can support our family and become independent. After that we get married or we simple live with our partner on our own and have a nice family. It’s all about surviving and this task can only be accomplished on a global base with love, that is science and surviving is a primitive instinct that keeps our raise alive, love does the largest part here. At the end it’s not important from what aspect you look at it, love is the ultimate answer. It’s not about going to school it never was, if you can get money on any legal way there is nothing more you need in this world, don’t be ridiculous, saying that you need education, come on. I hope I mead this clear enough, it’s about love, it’s about surviving and all that brings true happiness, what more do you need? At first I wanted to write a few times longer article to explain things a bit better, but sill I think you got the picture. In this world we need money to survive that’s why we are all our own slaves, but if you can do it on any other way, than there is no one that can stop you to regain your freedom. It’s sad that we humans made ourselfs what we are now. Love cannot be curopted because it’s eternal. Remember this: “At the very end of our civilization only love can save us”. But do not confuse meaning with purpose of life, that is a totally different thing, but more about that some other day. Till than…

Take care,

Nejc L.

Hi!

Today is Monday, November 12, 2007 in the evening.

Sorry I didn’t post anything yesterday, I was very busy with preparations for upcoming project in 2008. Today is a really crazy day, things are going pretty well for me, but not to forget that, my good friend if suffering. And I’m talking about one of a kind pain, love… She is so in love with a guy and she is really afraid of his feedback because he doesn’t know yet. I’m sure you guys know that feeling, you fall in love with a person, boy or a girl (lets say girl for easier presentation) and she it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen not just that she is wonderful and the the most important thing… she is one of the nicest people you ever meet, she is perfect! How in gods name will you gather that much courage to go to her and ask her out, if you can already hear her say: “I would love to go out with you, but you’re just not my type”, or maybe: “Yes sure” and later: “You know… you’re a very nice guy and I’m sure there is a wonderful women out there for you, but all we can be is friends”… Those are the things everyone is afraid of, boy or a girl. Why? That is question you yourself can answer easily. Because all of you dreams all of you hopes… they disappear in a moment in a second, forever. That is a risk you simply must take, to make yourself happy or to move on. And if things go well for you, than you are the happiest person on the world, no, you’re the happiest person in the universe, are you willing to take that risk? Are YOU ready to change your life? The question is, are you ready, that is the real question, only you alone can make a change and only you can push yourself to the limit and do than right here, right now, why wait?? Why in gods name would you wait? Ou I see, she’s got a boyfriend… now that is a problem… NO, get serious! If she is in a relationship you can still call her or talk to her and you can tell her I LOVE YOU! Is that a crime? No. Is that what we call, destroying a relationship? No, after that is HER choice what to do, you can’t control your feelings for her, you are only a HUMAN. Sure you can force yourself to think that you don’t like her and you don’t need her, now that is bad for you, because you will suffer the pain of love. Everytime you see her she’ll be on your mind the whole day and all night long and all you’ll be trying to do is, to convince yourself that she is not important to you. So tell her, go out and scream I love her, let the love out, only that can make you truly happy. If she is you friend and it just happens that you got caught in the moment and kiss each-other, don’t say sorry! That’s crazy! Rather say, I love you and in that moment your life can turn 1000 degrees, your mind will go wild and in any case you will eventually feel much better. Take that step, it’ll take you out of the pain in any case and, hey, just a little risk in your life can bring you lifelong happiness. It’s all up to you.

Take care,

Nejc L.

Hi!

 Today is Saturday, November 10, 2007 in the evening.

 Watch out The Invasion is coming! Yee, you probably guessed, I went to watch a movie titled “The Invasion”. I can say that the movie is pretty cool, I really didn’t think that will be that good. You can say instant action, great movie for relaxation, because the story is really straight and there is a lot of running =). Anyway I went so see a movie with my uncle as usual after that, we went in the restaurant for a pizza, quite ordinary food nothing special but I can’t really imagine anything better to eat after a good movie and have a nice talk about it. We talked mostly about movie, girls and sex as always, typical man to man conversation. Today was a nice day it was sunny (at least most of the time). I went to visit one of my friends and toke bass guitar with me. When I came back home I practiced with drum sticks and played some rock songs, than I played some bass, so it was quite loud, I had a good time. And at the end I’ve done some programming too. I’m gonna write some more deep stuff tomorrow, until then, take care.

Nejc L.

Hello!

Today is Friday, November 09, 2007.

Choices we make sometimes reflect our mood in our whole day or even whole week, month, maybe even year or our whole life. Someone asked me today: “How are you today?” and I could say that things are quite bad, but I just stopped for a moment and think about it, I though about all the good things and answered: “I’m actualy really good”. It was on me to make a choice to move on or get stuck in my own desperate world for another day. I chose happiness… and than it hit me… no matter how many problems I have I can make it! Yesterday a week past since I and Suzana breakup. Almost two years and a half we made a choice that changed our lives forever, now we made another choice, however this one destroyed all our plans for the future it hit us both real bad and left open wounds. Now these wounds are starting to heal, eventually they will become scars, after that the scares will almost fade away and all that it’s left will be a mark, saying, this love will never die. All I can say for sure is, my inspiration is starting its renewal and somehow I’m starting to feel that things can actually be brighter and better than ever before. Today Suzana invited me into cinema with her, but the weather is crappy so… maybe another time. Some need all their lives to learn that in the end, the choice is always ours, so make your choice today, for better tomorrow. We’ll talk in the evening again, until than, take care for yourself.

Nejc L.

It’s me!

Today is Thursday, November 08, 2007 in the evening.

 I’ll tell you what is magic. Magic is when you meet someone (in my case a girl) and you can’t stop steering in her eyes. What is even more magical? When she stares right back at you with the same look in her eyes, now that is magic. And than you just want to say, hey or just something as simple as hi, but you can’t. Sometimes the time just slips through your hand and the day is over in a blink of an eye, but sometimes you take the time to listen to you favorite band or singer and take a walk at night or late evening, you look in the sky and you tell yourself everything’s going to be alright… and you actually believe it and bang, you’re feeling a bit better. That is something I do quite offend,  I just take a walk and try to erase all the problems from my mind, in fact I’m planning to do that today lets say around 10.00 PM when our part of the world becomes dark and your only light is the moon and the stars. I meet Suzana on 1. May, 2005 we didn’t really talk a lot that day but it was enough, we meet and the day already turned into night. Soon after that she contacted me and I was like:”Are joking or are you serious?”, at that time I just breakup with one of her friends, she actually didn’t knew that but it didn’t matter, the thing was that at that point in my life I couldn’t really trust anyone (because of my recent breakup) so at first I thought she was joking. And she was like: “No, why would I joke, I really like you, can we get together sometime?” and you know I was like: “Yes sure!”. I mean I so liked her and soon after that we got together and it turned our she wasn’t just beautiful but also pretty cool too. After that I think you can imagine, I don’t need to say anymore, the new part of my life began, I left my old life with no regrets. Looking back it was very hard sometimes but on the other side it was THE BEST time of my life. If I had a chance to go back and to it all again, I wouldn’t even think about it, I would just do it all over again it was such a nice ride, sometimes like rollercoaster but must of the times it was like heaven. We had such big plans, she even didn’t sign for the final trip at the end of high school (sorry I don’t know the right expression), just to be with me. These memories… they are magical.

 Take care,

Nejc L.

Hey!

Today is Thursday, November 08, 2007.

I quickly presented my concept about our new project to computer sience professor, personally I really hope he’ll help us get the whole thing done and write history with us. That is for the start of this post. Now back to memories. Suzana invited me to the cinema tomorrow, that brings back quite some memories. I remember one time when we went to the cinema with her sister to watch a carton and as this movie actually a computer animated carton started, I get to realize that I’ll be forced almost 2 hours to watch some crazy penguins dancing and singing, it was soo annoying…god… But after all I had a real good time with them so the things weren’t that bad. If you ever see or meet me than please don’t get all dressed up in the penguin singing and dancing. That definitely won’t make you my best friend ;). Last week I went to watch Saw 4 with my uncle. We are real good buddies, together we watched almost all horror, action, science fiction and epic movies  usually we went to the cinema a couple a times a week, it’s soo cool to relax a bit and enjoy a good movie. By the way, Saw 4 is great. Oky so I’m thinking when in gods name Ill get to see some real cold and snowy winter, this global worming is becoming more obvious with every year. Even thou this year is a little colder that the last one. A lot of people talk about the end of the world in 2012, there are numerous of reasons just search the web with the string: “end of the world 2012″. I personally think that no one can be sure. I mean yes why not the world can end any second or not. I watch discovery channel most of my tv time so you can imagine I can’t wait until 2011 - 2012 when the sun reaches its maximum again. That’s the time when major storms on the sun will accord and the problem is that the last time that it happen it even wasn’t that bad but I think New York was 2 days in the darkness. The point is all electric devices can be destroyed because of radiation from the sun in that time. Search the web you will find more information at NASA, they say that the storm that will come in 2011 - 2012 will be one of the most powerful in more than 50 years. It is possible that world can be without electric a couple of years after that. That means catastrophe. Think about that, you’ll find more information on this url: http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2006/10mar_stormwarning.htm

Take care,

Nejc L.

Hi!

 Today is Wednesday, November 07, 2007 in the evening.

So I brought to life Suzan Business, right at this moment I’m building in our login system (used in all our applications - new in December). I had a few problems with SB for quite some time, because of extraordinary amount of code and complexity but I fixed a Stack Overflow Exception today so the program works just great. Feels good to do this again after some time.

Take care,

Nejc L.

Hi again!

Today is Wednesday, November 07, 2007.

I’m finally a bit more motivated for work, actually I just finished the concept for that new project I was talking about yesterday. I was thinking about code name CPUSRS, you can guess what that means, eventually I’ll tell you. Don’t get me wrong I would love to tell you the whole idea, but lets keep it secret for now because of competition and because this is something totally new. All I can say is that I already programmed some modules/class-es for it. About today I can say that I was a bit better that yesterday, weather was very sunny in the morning and my thoughts wore clearer. There is one thing I want to say to you guys. Whatever you do and whatever you like to do the most, be careful if that turns in to full day job, for example I’m programming for most of my days all the time and now I’m really sorry I didn’t spend some more time with Suzana and her family, so don’t do the same mistakes I did. Another thing that I wanted so say is something that originaly Tom Delonge said and it kinda became my personal motto, it goes like this: “You can do anything you fucking want and if anyone tells you what to do and what to say, fuck them”.  This clearly means that you can do anything you wish and you can accomplish your every goal, no one can  stop you, don’t listen to others calling you crazy and mad, focus on your dreams. Talk to you in the evening.

Take care,

Nejc L.